Thursday, January 27, 2011

I'm Not Speaking in Code

I have this friend who is very cryptic. A lot of the time I feel like maybe he doesn't really want to be friends anymore, or maybe I've said or done something that he really dislikes. He never says so and I think maybe he doesn't even think so, but it's hard to tell. In some off and on way, we remain friends, hanging out once in a while and chatting when we see each other on campus or at work. For a few months we might not speak much, but then one of us will invite the other to something and then we might start hanging out more regularly again.

It's disconcerting. But today I realized that I really don't know him that well. I have this affinity with him, which makes me feel like I know him, but in reality, I don't. We haven't spent that much time together or talked about anything too important, really. So I have this version of him in my mind; I think we do this with everybody. This version of him tells me what will offend him and what he'll enjoy, but when it comes right down to it, I have to admit that I simply don't know.

I have been told that I am cryptic and hard to read, so maybe I'm just getting a taste of my own medicine. Maybe sometimes he's just tired or moody or in his own world. It's really hard to tell. Or maybe he just really doesn't like asking/being asked for favours of any kind, even if it's something simple, like getting a ride somewhere. Who knows. It makes me kind of sad though, because he seems like a great person and I wish I knew him better. Or would stop offending him, or saying things that make him disapprove. But maybe it's not like that at all. Who knows.

Like I said, he's pretty cryptic. It's all just wild speculation at this point.

(PS. You get bonus points redeemable anywhere for absolutely nothing if you can tell me where the title of this post comes from.)

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