Monday, January 17, 2011

Diverging Paths

Why do you have to lose someone you love when your life changes? I mean, it happens every so often, when you move away or they do. But usually you try to keep in touch and by the time it peters out (if it does), you've both sort of drifted away anyway, so it's not so painful. It can still make you sad sometimes, but you get used to it and move on. When you see each other again, it's not all awkward and painful. You're just old friends who haven't seen each other in a while, whose paths followed each other for a moment and then diverged again.

How come in what our society calls a relationship, you are close to someone and then it has to either continue in its present form or explode into shards? Why is there no middle ground? It's either a serious relationship or a fling. There's no room for alternatives in most people's minds. Why can't you have a serious relationship and yet still be single, a separate entity, an individual with a separate path? When your paths diverge for a moment in time, why does it have to be a disaster, a heartbreak, a rending and destroying of the love that came before?

Why do you have to give something up, make some sort of triage, in order to live your life to the fullest?

It drives me crazy that I have to think about this stuff. I wish I could just settle into what seems normal to other people. But whether I can settle or not, I'm going to have to accept that it's the way things are. This whole relationship thing is artificially created, but it's still real, just like synthetic clothing are artificial but still real.

It's hard to express what I feel, when our language doesn't provide labels and terminology for the alternatives.

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