Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Rambling

Sometimes people trip into your life - or you trip into theirs - and unexpected synergy occurs.

Sometimes, just sometimes, you click with someone right away. Often, of course, that's a misimpression, and later on you discover that you have very little in common. But sometimes it turns out that you really do have a lot in common, and as long as you build your relationship, it can be something real.

Writing this feels weird. I haven't blogged since the election (angry face) and I've come to the realization that you can't put anything on the internet if you don't care who reads it. Even if it's password protected or supposedly unviewable by others. The reality is that anyone can see it.

I haven't been able to write a song in a while. I'm afraid it's because I'm trying to write at a level that is beyond my capabilities at the moment, so whatever I write feels disappointing. Or maybe I am just uninspired, or I've lost my poetic edge in the realms of academia and fiction writing. I know my prose is pretty straightforward, nothing experimental or poetic about it. That's not a bad thing; it's my style and I think I'm getting okay at it, almost ready to start querying agents with my novel (which is finally finished! Yay!).

But I think that my literary ability has overshadowed my attempts at learning music, and also my recognition of where I am. Usually I don't care so much, but I have an expectation that I will be at least alright at stuff as soon as I try it (weird, because a lot of the time I fail, just like anyone else).

I also overuse parentheses, but that's a side note.

I really want to write a song. I wish I could play an instrument well enough that I could make it do what I want. I know it's my own fault for being lazy and not taking the time to practice, but it's so frustrating, because I'm not sure I make progress even when I try. I don't know what to do. Maybe guitar's not my instrument. Maybe I just don't have the talent to be as good as I'd like. Maybe I put too much focus on other things. I don't know.

But it's frustrating.

This is not at all where this post was going to go, but it's where it went, so that's it, hey.

Looking forward to Friday. It's been a bit of a crappy couple weeks, with highlights here and there, but mostly meh. I'm looking forward to a break.