Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Dark Water Swallows Me Into the Rising Tide

History repeats itself.

I don't fit.

I reached my tolerance threshold. I couldn't breathe.

It was a relief.

I feel like I should apologize, but I have nothing to apologize for. I'm afraid I might have hurt your feelings. I'm sorry if I did. It wasn't intentional.

It makes me sad, and there's only so much sadness I can handle. It makes me depressed about life. I don't like being depressed about life.

It's never been a judgment or a condemnation. It's a suffocation. And the sadness.

Always the sadness.

If I didn't care, I wouldn't feel sad.

And the shit hits the fan.

I'm good at saying I'm fine when I'm really not, but it seems impossible to explain. And it usually makes things worse. I regret it.

It's better this way.

I'm not fine. But I will be. It's just the same old shit. Someday, I'll get used to it.

But now I'm wallowing in it. Damn.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, how often do I feel like this? This is beautiful, thank you!